The other evening, I was curious about the score of a game and almost texted my family before realizing it was fewer steps to simply look up the score. On the pro of texting, I might learn something more about that game, but the con was that I might annoy family members with the thought of “why doesn’t he just look this up?”

This brought me to fond memories of early days in bars with friends before smart phones. In our early 20’s, we were blind to our own ignorance, and our conversations discussed and solved the worlds issues. Then the solutions were promptly forgotten.

Almost a nightly occurrence was the sharing of some bit of knowledge which was either incomplete or suspect. Facts were needed in either case, but there was no method to get these facts. So, what did we do?

We debated. Typically, with such fervor and expletives that we would attract an audience. And of course, some of these people would engage and become part of the conversation. Views were shared, arguments continued with no resolution, and most importantly, friendships were formed and grew.

I was recently seated outdoors at a bar/restaurant with 3 friends. The experience was reminiscent of those times. Not due to debates, but we did attract an audience in the form of a nearby (greater than 6ft) couple. As they were leaving, they interjected that they had been entertained by our conversation and referenced anecdotes such as cryptocurrencies, spaceflight, skiing, and The Mandalorian that showed they had been listening for well over an hour.

My takeaways as I look back:

• My friends and I have not lost our knack for drawing others’ interest.
• In non-COVID, maybe that table would have asked to join us and the conversation.
• How much more wide-ranging and lively could the conversation have been without smartphone use?

And that last one is the challenge for me and anyone else who wants to join. The next time I am out to dinner or at a bar, I am going to challenge my friends to not look up any information on their phone the whole time we are there.

Debate. Scan the depths of memory. Hell, ask the server! But avoid the temptation of pulling out the smartphone.

I am going to try this in the next month, and then again post-COVID. Who knows, maybe it will be my new norm. And if anyone reading this tries, please comment with your experience.

NOTE: Please respect all COVID protocols and be safe during trials.

I long to get back on an airplane. As I write this, it has been approximately 11 months since my last flight, a short hop from Kansas City to Denver, and I was typically doing at least 2 round trip flights per month between work and personal. In this time, I have driven close to 12,000 miles, the majority of which has been road trips across the US, so I have been fortunate to move around a bit. But I want to go abroad.

There is nothing quite like international travel. Exploring the people, food, culture, and language of a new area is fun and expands the mind in ways that can never be replicated at home. While I don’t envision my writings to be focused entirely on travel, I imagine that they will be heavily influenced in the near future.

I have decided that my first trip should utilize at least one of two skills I have put some focus on during the pandemic: the Spanish language and chartering a sailboat. The Caribbean seems to be a logical choice for both, but the typical sailing destinations are predominately either English or French Creole speaking.

The Western Med is a possibility, but I know that keeping it local is better for my first charter experience. Plus, I am intimidated by a Mediterranean Moor (though this video where you use a mooring line instead of your own anchor makes it seem feasible). So alas, I will only test one of my two new skills. The decision on which will likely be heavily influenced by who, if anyone, is along for the ride.

White Lie (noun): a harmless or trivial lie, especially one told to avoid hurting someone's feelings.

I have recently been pondering if there is any such thing as a trivial lie. Whether it is a white lie or one of omission. The contemplation has two fuel sources in my life right now: a book I am reading, The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey, and an end to my recent relationship.

The book is all about how being a high trust person and having high trust relationships makes everything easier. The concept seems obvious, but when you dive into the details presented by Mr. Covey, you cannot deny that there is a real-world impact in terms of time and energy, arguably an individual’s most in demand resources.

The book has also provided a framework for reflection on my relationships over the years. To look at the four parts of “self-trust” outlined in the book: integrity, intent, capabilities, and results. I think my biggest opportunity of those four is intent: I am guilty of keeping my own counsel too often. While I have plans, goals, and direction, I do not regularly share them.

The book also outlines 13 behaviors for trust in relationships, and here I find missed opportunities to improve on in the future. Namely: talking straight (avoiding the white lie), create transparency (state my intent / avoid the accidental lie by omission), and clarify expectations (am I ever on the same page?).

Thankfully, I am better at trust behaviors in professional relationships and friendships than I am in my romantic relationships, so I know what I must do and even how to do it. The challenge is to get over the bad habits I have developed.

Bringing it back to the beginning, I think the first step is to avoid the harmless or trivial lies, especially those told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. Instead, I need to embrace the touch conversations; done correctly, the long-term benefits will easily outweigh the hurt feelings of today.

Last week I got the chance to relive the beginning of my sabbatical by skiing with my family in Colorado. We all got lucky in that Summit County experienced significant snowfalls starting midway on our second day, and I was fortunate enough to get on the slopes five straight days.

Even with COVID, I did occasionally ride a lift with a stranger (separated by two seats). Perhaps my favorite was a man who worked at a rental shop in the ski town and managed to get out every day for a few hours. I He told me his typical season is over 150 days on the slopes; I was envious.

He appeared to have found a source of income in a desired location with enough flexibility to pursue his passion. What is not to envy in that? Especially when I share a similar passion.

Over the 5 days, I was reminded how at peace I am on the slopes. Life’s worries drifted away in the crisp air and rugged beauty of the snow-covered mountains. In their place, my only concern was pushing myself and testing my abilities. And each day, I challenged myself a little more and was rewarded with incremental improvements.

But that alone is not enough for me. That is why I am not choosing to follow his lifestyle. I recognize my other passions and seek to create a lifestyle that supports those as well. Maybe a part time job in a ski town is in my future, but that is not the priority in this moment.

For now, I must savor every minute I spend on the slopes whether I am carving into a groomer or gliding on some fresh powder.

This weekend, I attempted to sleep in both days as I had no specific reason to wake up. The first day, I managed 7am which, while later than normal, was not really my goal and only gave me 7 hours. The next day I managed to wake up after 8am giving me closer to 9 hours. This caused me to reflect on some interesting side effects of the COVID lockdown.

First, my sleeping patterns have become less variable. Where I used to be out with friends past midnight at least once a month, now I cannot remember the last time. This has caused me to fall into regular patterns of sleep which, while likely better for my quality of sleep, does not help when I want to sleep in.

COVID is not the only factor as my schedule has become less variable over the last decade, so routine cannot be the only reason for my diminished snoozing ability. What else has changed? Two factors: first, I moved away from the west coast, and second, I travel less due to COVID.

Between my personal life and my job, I was usually spending at least one week per month (and usually two) in a different time zone with central and eastern US being the most common. I would also chain work and personal trips together; this led to me being well practiced at tweaking my routines to get my body ready for a new time zone. And it kept my body guessing.

With COVID, that is gone. I have not been on a plane since March of 2020 which is shocking to type. My body has finally adjusted to a certain time zone, and with it a defined sleep pattern. I would like to think this means I am getting better sleep but given that I still fall asleep in less than 5 minutes, it would seem I remain deprived.

My conclusion from these reflections is that I need to cross an ocean; I want to get back to the person who is out there experiencing life in the flesh, and I will sort out the effects as I go. Now the only question is if I book a flight now or wait until I get a better idea on my vaccine timeline than “sometime between June and the end of 2021.”

Home is something to look forward to returning to, not a permanent existence.